In 2016 I left the world of executive search and set up my business. At the end of June 2024 it was my business’ 8th birthday and it’s a perfect time to reflect. I’ve had so many learnings along the way and wanted to share the 8 things that resonate most with me at this stage, that have stayed with me.
Get clear on your values and make sure your work aligns.
I interviewed Cathy Lasher earlier this year as research for the career book I am writing. She’s an author and was one of the tutors on my coach training. She made a very good point that if you never invest time in understanding your values, it’s “total dumb luck” whether the work you do and the roles you hold will align with them. I’ve walked away from people whose values clash with mine, even when the work they are offering is something I could do. There is a coaching exercise on my resources page to help you work out your top values.
Find your own working style and rhythm.
I used to feel guilty if I wasn’t “working” flat out. I have now left that behind and can switch off and enjoy other activities even during traditional working hours. What’s the point of being your own boss if you run your business like you are still in the corporate world? I am writing this on a Saturday on a train to my college reunion, but it doesn’t feel like “working on my day off”. My life and work are happily intertwined now, and I am free and brave enough to choose what I do and when I do it. This took a while after 20+ years in employed roles with a boss.
Do you!
There will always be people with a different view / different priorities to you. I’m an optimist and a career coach and I thrive on helping others find work fulfilment, adopting a growth mindset and developing. There will always be those who don’t have this mindset; pessimists and those who seem to enjoy criticising others. As my friend and colleague Marshah Dixon-Terry says, “You do you”. I choose to focus my time and energy on bringing a positive outlook and focus where I can make a difference. I am comfortable with everyone doing what works for them. I choose the radiators not the drains!
Dare to say “no”.
To get to do the work you love, you have to say “no” to the work you don’t love. When you run your own business, it can feel counterintuitive to decline work opportunities. It’s scary. A fear exists that if you say “no” you might never get any opportunities again and you will fail / starve (I can be dramatic). I felt the fear and I did it!! From c2021 I started saying “no” to things I could do, and could earn money from, but I wasn’t energised by. I no longer do consulting, hiring manager training, recruitment process reviews. Now I focus on individual recruitment coaching, speaking and sessions and organisation coaching and development. I genuinely love my work. I am also ruthlessly protective of my diary. I have to be.
We can choose our attitude.
Ever since watching the FISH video in the nineties (lessons from the San Francisco fish market about amazing customer service) I have been a big believer in choosing your attitude. As our lives progress, we’ll have challenges we have to navigate; bereavement, illness, redundancy, ageing parents, caring responsibilities, hormone changes. A chunk of these will be outside of our control, and suck. But you may have noticed that people’s responses to their realities differ hugely. The person you know with the toughest situation, won’t necessarily be the person who complains the most. You can choose. I know it can be hard, and this is absolutely not a suggestion to slap a smile on your face and get on with it. But it is an invitation to choose what matters to you in how you show up.
Keep in touch with old friends and colleagues.
One of my pet hates is people who don’t keep in touch, but then fire a message over out of the blue when they want something. Just this week, I had a conversation with an old college friend who is settled in role as a CEO and doesn’t dedicate much time to their connecting, LinkedIn and relationship building. I won’t share here the exact phrase I used with them, but it was along the lines of “don’t be a twit” – invest in your relationships before you need them. It’s one of the things I see most with my coachees: a regret that they haven’t kept in touch with people who they might now wish to ask for help. Have a peek in your LinkedIn DMs and WhatsApps – scroll right to the bottom. Is there anyone you want to drop a message to? Something I live by is Joseph Goldstein’s habit of “acting on generous impulses right away” – if someone comes into my head I message them there and then.
Block out time in your calendar to think.
As the different number of platforms increase, the noise and demands come from all directions. E mails. Video meetings. Teams messages. WhatsApp groups. I often know I have had a message from someone I need to reply to, but can’t find it. This is even harder for those of you in employed roles that have a number of mandatory things you have to be present for. I have found it helpful to protect certain times in my diary that are not available for clients – or for anyone – to do quiet work. Time to think. My recent LinkedIn blog explores this further.
I know it’s not easy, but it can help your headspace, your long-term thinking and your proactivity.
Put yourself first.
We all have 168 hours a week. We all have demands and commitments coming at us from all directions. We want to be a good employee, friend, parent, partner, son/daughter, sibling, and all-round human. Sometimes it just feels too much. Even as a sociable extrovert there are times I need to hide away and recharge. My work and life are better now I have worked out what I need and put it in place. The beauty of being my own boss is I can decide where and when this is (Wednesday morning swim and yoga, Friday time for my wellbeing – as well as time for my elderly mum some weeks). If you can find the things that help you, and protect that time for yourself, you might find it helps you.
Read my previous birthday blogs here: